Reference Manual for the Global Warming Mythology Mar 19, 2019 18:33:51 GMT Ratty and IB DaMann like this
Post by IB DaMann on Mar 19, 2019 18:33:51 GMT
The Global Warming Mythology Reference Manual
Global Warming: proper noun
The Arch-villain of the Global Warming mythology; born out of unfettered capitalism, Global Warming acquires His power from "heat" produced by Greenhouse Effect. Global Warming is constantly at war with the goddess Climate,. His favorite weapons are CO2, methane, water vapor and greenhouse gas which he feeds to Greenhouse Effect in return for more "heat" and thus more power.
Climate: proper noun
The heroine of the Global Warming mythology, Climate is the Democratic People's Goddess. Born out of the Scientific Consensus, She oversees the central planning and administration of all weather, ecosystems, and local climates across the globe, as well as all interactions thereof. Climate is responsible for the care and well-being of all life on earth. In other faiths She is called Mother Nature.
Note: Climate, by her nature, never changes but she is believed to be constantly changing, thus forming the grand mystery of the Global Warming faith. This is a core tenet of Settled Science.
Warmizombie or Climate-Lemming: noun
Colloquial term for believer in Climate Science, normally of such unbelievable strength of faith that no science, logic, math or any sort of reason can cause any reconsideration, and normally of such devotion that rigid solidarity and obedience to Climate Scientists is always maintained. The most prominent tenet of the warmizombie or Climate-lemming is the absolute certainty that Global Warming will ultimately defeat Climate, called the inevitable Climate "catastrophe" usually estimated to be around the end of the century ... or within twelve years (your mileage may vary), and that Climate will fall as a result of mankind's carbon sins helping Global Warming push Climate beyond "the tipping point."
A member of the heretical sect of the Church of Global Warming called "Skeptics." A skeptic believes everything that other warmizombies and Climate-lemmings believe EXCEPT FOR the tenet of the inevitable Climate catastrophe. Skeptics have full faith that Climate will triumph in the end and they tend to not embrace the firebrand Marxist calls to tax everything that exists in this physical reality. They also do not believe that humanity is bringing Climate to her demise. This puts skeptics at odds with warmizombies and Climate-lemmings, normally in the area of public policy and law.
Denier or Troll: noun
Non-believer; anyone who does not accept Climate Science or who is even willing to express opinions that differ from the Marxist party line. Deniers and Trolls are analogous to "orcs" in the Lord of the Rings.
According to the Global Warming mythology, a forcing is a miracle performed by Climate in discharging Her duties as the central planner and administrator of all weather systems, ecosystems and local climates across the globe, of all interactions thereof and in caring for the wellbeing of all life on earth. This falls under Climate Science.
A feedback is a specific type of forcing employed by Climate that overcomes the physical limitations of the 1st and 2nd Laws of Thermodynamics by creating additional usable energy. Feedbacks come in various subcategories, e.g. thermal, climate, hydrostatic, radiative, etc.. This falls under Settled Science.
The Data: proper noun
According to Global Warming mythology, The Data is the rumored proof of Global Warming, the mere mention of which has the magical superpower to end all debate on questions of Global Warming faith. Note: Often Climate Scientists fabricate data and claim that it comes from The Data. As long as the fabricated/cooked/tweaked/modified/fudged/altered/fiddled data support the truth of Climate Science then it is the Climate Scientists' duty to present that data. This duty is analogous to Taqiya in Islam.
In Climate Science, a meaningless term that warmizombies and Climate-lemmings use to keep deniers off their backs. Climate Scientists have long since been beleaguered by, on the one hand, having to adhere to their religious edicts to proclaim the good news of rising average global temperatures while on the other hand, knowing full well that no one actually knows the earth's average global temperature to any usable accuracy. They have been plagued for four decades by having to weasel-word their way through explanations of how they know the average global temperature is increasing if they never know the earth's average global temperature in the first place. So they hijacked the word "anomaly" and began mass-producing charts with sharply rising graphs showing increasing anomalies! Problem solved! If ever questioned about what exactly is being measured in an "anomaly" then the warmizombie can always fall back on the standard reply: "You're so stoopid!."
Satellites: plural noun
Within Climate Science, the preferred cited source for asserting knowledge of the unknowable and for claiming certainty about the completely uncertain. Within the Global Warming religion, magickal "satellites" are often cited as the source of divine knowledge and wisdom that is unavailable to deniers. Whenever a warmizombie or Climate-lemming fabricates a "fact" that is otherwise unknowable/unmeasurable to any usable accuracy by today's technology, the preferred justification is "That is measured by satellites." The mention of "satellites" is understood to rightly end all dissent on any given point.
In the Global Warming lexicon, a prediction is a statement made by Climate Scientists after the occurrence of some weather/environmental event affirmatively asserting that Climate Science predicted the event.
Greenhouse Gas: noun
According to the Global Warming mythology, greenhouse gas is a magickal substance (a gas) that has the magickal superpower to cause any black body in which it comes into contact to violate the Stefan-Boltzmann law by increasing its temperature while decreasing its radiance. This belief falls under Settled Science.
Greenhouse Effect: proper noun
Global Warming's loyal servant, creates "heat" when fed CO2, methane, water vapor and greenhouse gas by invoking his magickal superpower to force a black body to violate the Stefan-Boltzmann law. Greenhouse Effect continues to increase the earth's heat budget to aid Global Warming in His war against Climate. This belief falls under Settled Science.
In the Climate Science lexicon, an expression of one's devotion to the Global Warming faith. "Albedo" is used to express one's dedication to scientific illiteracy in the same manner that some Christian clergy take vows of poverty or celibacy. The word albedo is often used to virtue-signal to other warmizombies that no amount of actual science will ever be considered acceptable and that warmizombies and Climate-lemmings can trust him/her to adhere to the Global Warming faith.
Note: Literally, albedo is a numeric value computed as 1.0-emissivity. Unfortunately, the term emissivity is an evil component of the Stefan-Boltzmann law which is actual science that shows Greenhouse Effect to not be possible, ergo the term emissivity is considered sacrilegious and is avoided to the maximum extent possible.
Stefan-Boltzmann Law: proper noun.
To wamizombies and Climate-lemmings the Stefan-Boltzmann law is the most vile of all sacrilege. It states, among other things, that a black body's temperature and radiance move in the same direction, i.e. increase with increase, decrease with decrease. This is sacrilegious to Climate Science that mandates belief that the earth's radiance decreases from greenhouse gas while the earth's temperature increases.
Note: In classical physics, the Stefan-Boltzmann law applies to all matter, always, everywhere. This includes the earth with its atmosphere and hydrosphere. The law applies to all bodies of matter regardless of size, shape or zodiac sign. Due to the extreme extent that this law riles religious Climate sensitivities, Climate Science mandates that all of its congregation believe unconditionally that the Stefan-Boltzmann law simply does not apply to earth. Period. End of story. Any reason whatsoever is accepted as perfectly legitimate justification for this belief. The standard justifications that are officially endorsed by Climate Scientists are "the earth has an atmosphere" or "the earth isn't a perfect black body."
Natural Variation: noun
The extent of the Greenhouse Effect miracle that is caused by Climate and is considered "a force of good."
Climate Sensitivity or Climate Variation: noun
The extent of the Greenhouse Effect miracle that is caused by Global Warming and is imposed on Climate. This is considered "a force of evil."
Climate Science: proper noun
The canonical name of the religious dogma of the Global Warming mythology.
The Science: proper noun
The colloquial name of the religious dogma of the Global Warming mythology.
Climate Scientist: noun
Any Global Warming believer who has entered the clergy by having professed his/her faith in an officially recognized peer reviewed document. Upon being anointed, Climate scientists get to participate in democratic votes on Climate Science and become part of the The Science consensus.
Scientific Community: proper noun
Within the Global Warming Congregation, the brotherhood of Climate Scientists. This brotherhood of Global Warming clergy currently maintains a 97% belief in Global Warming. There is uncertainty as to how 3% of them do not.
(Scientific) Consensus: noun
The majority opinion, on any topic whatsoever, of the brotherhood of Climate Scientists (i.e. Scientific Community).
Settled Science: noun
Any element of Climate Science that runs counter to physics or is an apparent logical fallacy, e.g. "Climate Change."
Tipping Point: noun
In Global Warming Settled Science, the point at which Climate will be forced to recreate the Christian "Great Flood" by the end of the century, i.e. oceans will rise 15 cubits, extreme weather will kill all life on the planet, there will be a big rainbow afterwards, etc..
The second highest calling within the Church of Global Warming; the embarking on a journey to a Climate "ground zero" (normally near wherever the current Climate accord is being held at that time), usually to post one's homage to Climate on social media.
Cap and Trade: noun
The highest calling within the Church of Global Warming. The way for believers to achieve salvation for Climate, for humanity and for the planet by rejecting capitalism in all its forms through taxing the very 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.
In the Global Warming theology, "heat" means whatever it needs to mean at any given moment. The term is employed by Global Warming believers to shift semantic goalposts as necessary. It's meaning can shift fluidly between "temperature," "increase in temperature," "thermal energy," "flow of thermal energy," "convection," "absorption of electromagnetic radiation," "energy," "conduction," "infrared," "plasma," "work," "power," "radioactivity," "electrical energy" and others as convenient.
Heat Content: noun
In the Global Warming theology, "heat content" is a powerful obfuscation of the term "heat." Whereas "heat" can shift between meaning "temperature," "increase in temperature," "thermal energy," "flow of thermal energy," "convection," "absorption of electromagnetic radiation," "energy," "conduction," "infrared," "plasma," "work," "power," "radioactivity," "electrical energy" and others as convenient, the term "heat content" can refer to multiple terms at the same time, greatly minimizing the warmizombie's need to backpedal when questioned about his argument's semantics.
Heat Budget or Thermal Budget: noun
In the Global Warming theology, the arsenal of "heat" that Global Warming has at His disposal. Global Warming uses Greenhouse Effect to steadily increase His heat budget.
Waste Heat: noun
In the Global Warming theology, heat that is carelessly released into the atmosphere, usually by deniers, for Global Warming to use against Climate.
In the Global Warming mythology, the mysterious belief that an atom can somehow be "filled to capacity" with photons. At such a point all other photons will apparently find no room at the inn and must look elsewhere to be absorbed. Since this seems to violate Planck’s Law and other classical physics, this belief falls within Settled Science.
This is another word for entropy, but is used within the context of society and business. It represents resources (usable energy) that are no longer available to the rest of life on earth per the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics. Since no business process can avoid externalities (because the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics cannot be avoided), the Global Warming Congregation embraces the Marxists doctrine that the only remedy for externalities is invasive taxation that flows money to the government and effectively kills capitalism. Externalities is a branch of Climate Science.
Per the Global Warming lexicon, whenever an ordinary or otherwise non-exceptional event occurs that some Climate Scientist wishes to imply requires a Settled Science explanation, the event is characterized as "unprecedented."
Of the Instrument Record: prepositional phrase
In the Global Warming mythology, being pronounced a superlative "of the instrument record" is a religious honor, akin to a title of sainthood, bestown upon an ordinary or otherwise non-exceptional weather event that becomes interesting trivia for having broken some obscure record.
Sea Level Rise: noun
According to Climate Science, one must believe the ocean is rising. This aspect of the faith is non-negotiable. The extent to which the ocean is rising, however, differs between warmizombies and skeptics. Warmizombies insist the ocean is rising at a catastrophic rate, denoting their belief in Global Warming's inevitable victory over Climate. Skeptics, on the other hand, insist the ocean is rising at a negligible, imperceptible rate, denoting Climate's complete control over all things in nature and their own certainty that Climate will always remain undefeated over Global Warming.
Note on Sea Level Rise: Many warmizombies become stressed over this requirement of the faith because the ocean isn't actually rising, and they find it extremely difficult to somehow convince themselves that it is actually rising at a catastrophic rate. Such warmizombies fear the stigma of being perceived by their congregation as deniers so they often don't seek the help they need. For those with self-deluding difficulty, the Church of Global Warming as gathered a collection of church material to help.
Ocean Acidification: noun
In the more firebrand preaching of Climate Science, the ardent belief that the average pH value of the ocean is somehow neutralizing. It also involves the strong denial that life is acidic and a fierce but unsupported belief that a decrease in ocean pH values would be detrimental, even catastrophic, rather than beneficial to marine life.
Coral Bleaching: noun
In the more firebrand preaching of Climate Science, the ardent belief that the natural expulsion of algae by corals somehow involves bleach and somehow results in the destruction of the coral because of the coral's resulting white color. Because this belief seemingly runs counter to biological science, due to there being no caustic chemicals involved in the process and algae eventually returning along with the corals’ bright colors, this belief falls under Settled Science.
In the Global Warming mythology, "teleconnections" are magickal links binding disparate ecosystems, placed there by Climate in Her central planning and administration of all life, nature, environments and climates on earth.
Stadium Wave: noun
A Global Warming edict, written in an unintelligible tongue speculated to be a Latin derivative, issued by Oracle from the Climate Change "Holy Sea" known as the IPCC prophesying and explaining the current multi-decade hiaitus of Global Warming mythology.
The Stadium Wave Prophecy:
"A hypothesized low-frequency climate signal propagating across the Northern Hemisphere through a network of synchronized climate indices was identified in previous analyses of instrumental and proxy data. The tempo of signal propagation is rationalized in terms of the multidecadal component of Atlantic Ocean variability – the Atlantic Multidecadal Oscillation. Through multivariate statistical analysis of an expanded database, we further investigate this hypothesized signal to elucidate propagation dynamics. The Eurasian Arctic Shelf-Sea Region, where sea ice is uniquely exposed to open ocean in the Northern Hemisphere, emerges as a strong contender for generating and sustaining propagation of the hemispheric signal. Ocean-ice-atmosphere coupling spawns a sequence of positive and negative feedbacks that convey persistence and quasi-oscillatory features to the signal. Further stabilizing the system are anomalies of co-varying Pacific-centered atmospheric circulations. Indirectly related to dynamics in the Eurasian Arctic, these anomalies appear to negatively feed back onto the Atlantic‘s freshwater balance. Earth’s rotational rate and other proxies encode traces of this signal as it makes its way across the Northern Hemisphere."
Note on the Stadium Wave Prophesy: Scientists are already working on translating this beautiful and mysterious language.
In the Global Warming mythology, an SUV is a pornographically "unclean" vehicle wrought by Global Warming for His war against Climate. The SUV has mighty powers of seduction over deniers. Using an SUV is considered a grave mortal sin unless approved by clergy for their own personal use. Inappropriate touching or oggling of SUVs is not to be permitted and children are to be warned at young ages of their dangers.
In Climate Science, an interesting coincidence that is nonetheless implied to be a direct cause. In classical physics, correlation does not imply causality but in Climate Science, correlation is more than sufficient to justify causation. When two unrelated random events happen to share some apparent parallel characteristics, the presumption is that Climate is directly responsible and that it could be an indication of a teleconnection.
Weather Trend: noun
The belief among Climate Scientists that since Climate has assumed the role of Chief Central Administrator for all weather on earth that weather is somehow no longer a random event and can therefore have trends. This leaves weather open to "correlation analysis" and the discovery of teleconnections. Otherwise there can be no trends in weather because weather is a series of random events, which precludes any causal relationships and thus cannot have trends. This belief falls under Settled Science.
Climate Driver: noun
In Climate Science, anything that forces Climate's hand or that puts Her at a disadvantage against Global Warming. The normally cited "drivers" are CO2, methane, water vapor and greenhouse gas, as well as generally nice things and human existence.
Climate Justice: noun
Climate Justice is the Global Warming penal code, akin to "Shariah Law" that holds as its core tenet that CO2, methane, water vapor and greenhouse gas are "vile," much in the same way fundamentalist Muslims view pork, and thus consider them to be both pollution and poison, to be outlawed and forthwith disposed/eliminated. This view is considered an imperative to prevent Climate from falling over the tipping point in Her war against Global Warming.
Climate Ground Zero: proper noun
In the Global Warming mythology, the term for wherever Climate is directly facing off with Global Warming. Global Warming believers make pilgrimages to such locations to see the fighting in action and to cheer on Climate, or if the battle has ended, to view the effects of the War.
Energy Imbalance: noun
In Climate Science, the effect of Global Warming amassing forces for an assault on Climate foreshadowing an impending Climate Ground Zero.