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Post by nautonnier on Jan 16, 2018 18:15:30 GMT
Heckler and Koch Board Room
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Post by sigurdur on Jan 16, 2018 18:26:05 GMT
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Post by sigurdur on Jan 16, 2018 19:03:33 GMT
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Post by missouriboy on Jan 16, 2018 19:48:11 GMT
Heckler and Koch Board Room A "Heckler" might have to watch the slant of his/her vernacular in such a place.
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Post by Ratty on Jan 16, 2018 22:30:15 GMT
We go down to Southport to shop on occasions: That has NEVER happened to me !!!
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Post by Ratty on Jan 16, 2018 22:31:13 GMT
Heckler and Koch Board Room Board Room? Nothing boring about that room !!
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Post by nautonnier on Jan 17, 2018 13:46:18 GMT
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Post by missouriboy on Jan 17, 2018 16:44:07 GMT
"Shitholians" are not amused! However, we are taking reservations for unhappy cousins.
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Post by Ratty on Jan 17, 2018 23:55:39 GMT
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Post by nautonnier on Jan 18, 2018 10:18:37 GMT
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Post by sigurdur on Jan 18, 2018 20:27:34 GMT
Perhaps, yet to be deployed?
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Post by Ratty on Jan 18, 2018 22:52:18 GMT
Sig, do you know anything about this?
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem, how to carry his entire purchases home. While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?' 'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time. The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?' The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?' The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, and put the paint on top of the bucket. I'll hold the chickens"!
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Post by sigurdur on Jan 19, 2018 0:07:05 GMT
LMAO!! Good one!
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Post by sigurdur on Jan 19, 2018 0:09:45 GMT
Blimey! She was younger once to boot?
A young New York woman was so depressed she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
Just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," he said. "I'm a sailor and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy. When we get to Italy you will be SO GLAD that you're alive"
With nothing to lose and always wanting to see Italy, she accepted.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the ship's hold.
From then on, every night, he would bring her sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with a sailor," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy."
"I see," t he captain says.
Then her conscience got the best of her, and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
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Post by Ratty on Jan 19, 2018 13:06:03 GMT
Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a-!
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."
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